I KNOW
I know how it feels when all you can think about throughout the pregnancy is that you are going to lose the baby.
I know how it feels when you finally get the little one into your arms and instead of feeling love you only feel emptiness.
I know how it is when there is no baby bubble.
I know what it is like to wake up in the morning and cry because you have to get through another day.
I know what it is to wonder if motherhood is for you and what if you made the biggest mistake of your life.
I know how it feels to miss the life you had and the person you were.
I know how it feels like to go alone to the grocery store and play with the idea that you won’t return home.
I know how it feels like, when you feel that your child would be so much happier without you in their life.
I know how it feels to have guilt about the thoughts you have and the words you say.
I know how it feels to have so much sadness and pain in your body that you could explode.
I know how it feels to force yourself to smile at your baby.
I know how it feels when the innocent questions are the hardest: ”So, is the baby sleeping through the night yet”, ”How is the baby bubble” and ”Isn’t this the best time of your life”.
I know how it feels to be lonely even when you are surrounded by people.
I know how it feels like to think it will never get better.
But
I also know how it feels like to finally get help and start to understand that there is nothing wrong with you and this isn’t your fault.
I also know that one day you wake up and the world has colours again.
I also know that feeling when you look at your baby and you feel love and affection like you never felt before.
I also know how it feels when all you need to feel better is to see your baby smile and thrive.
I also know that feeling when your baby goes to sleep and all you do all night long is to look at their photos because you miss them so much.
I also know how it feels to wake up in the morning with pure happiness when realizing you can spend the whole day with your baby.
I also know the feeling of excitement when you are thinking about all the years ahead with your little one.
I also know that it will get better.
I know. You are not alone. It’s not forever. Postpartum depression is not here to stay, it’s only visiting. It will get better and when it does, you realize how much you have accomplished and how strong you are.